No! Not This Year.

This morning I have a special blog post just for you: a list of Christmas stuff you should absolutely NOT do for Christmas this year. They're crazy time intensive projects, pretty much insane even if you started in July. But we're at the magical time of the holiday season when you have to just let it go. Relax! You're out of time. Pack away all your good intentions and get practical.

This is the week to buy your neighbor gifts instead of making 300 cookies and this is the week for one last ditch race through Toys 'R Us to fill in the gaps with the "B" List toys. But in case you're an incurable "yes" person, I've compiled the following projects that I know you won't have time to complete, no matter how many all-nighters you pull between now and the 25th. Put them down and walk away. You're welcome.

At the top of the list are all needlework projects. It's too late to start knitting, cross stitching, or crocheting gifts in time for Christmas. You definitely won't be crocheting individualized stockings for all of your children and grandchildren this year. Put away the needles and the red and green thread. You're done.
You also won't have time to make your own wrapping paper. Who does? This is crazy: wrapping paper is cheap for a reason. It's supposed to be the easiest part of giving a gift.
You won't have time to make a gingerbread house like this, especially not with your own very special homemade gingerbread recipe. Goodness gracious, there won't even be time for the frosting to dry completely. Let it go.
How about two dozen tasteful handmade felt ornaments from the Purl Bee? No! Don't start that crap. Do me a favor and just avoid The Purl Bee and Martha until January 1.
You know what else you can let go for another year? The "Christmas Book Every Day" madness. And advent. And the twelve days of Christmas. It's over. It's eight days until Go Time. You're off the hook until next year for any and all countdown to Christmas projects.
Did you send out your Christmas cards? No? Well, now is NOT the time to break out the scrapbooking paper. It's too late! No homemade, multilayered, stamped, bedazzled, eyelet-enhanced, flowered handmade cards for you this year. Let Go and Let God. This is what Facebook is for, folks: upload a family snapshot up and keep your message short ("Happy Holidays from our Family to Yours" is exactly enough.)
For the love. You don't have time to produce these Instagram marshmallows. I don't care how cute the filters are! At best you have time to print out a favorite snapshot on your home printer and stick it in a frame from Walmart. Cross this project off your list. With prejudice.
Is it time to break out the sewing machine and put together two dozen new costumes for the ward live Nativity? NO! It's too late! Wasn't your ward Christmas party two weeks ago anyway? There's no more time this year to sew the costumes. Turn the page on that little fantasy.
This is quilling. In defense of the craft, I have a half dozen snowflake ornaments my mom "quilled" when I was a little girl (they're at least 25 years old). They're pretty. But guess what? You won't be learning how to quill this year for Christmas. And you certainly won't be making any of these crazy Christmas trees. It's outside the realm of possibility. Done.

Isn't it nice to know what is OFF your list for 2013? That's the magic of December 17th. Do yourself a favor, as a special holiday gift from me to you: cut two things off your To Do list right now. Seriously. No one will miss your fancy gingerbread cheesecake at the PTA potluck. The garlands can just stay in the box for a year. Take an afternoon for yourself and watch a horrible Lifetime Christmas movie. Or take a nap! Merry Christmas!
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